Thoughts in Paradise, Or: “Maybe Day”

One of the many perks of living in Japan is the closeness to other Asian countries and the possibility to travel them.

For our week off from school this February, a colleague and I decided to go ‘someplace warm’ to escape the bleakness and the common cold. Only about 5 hours flight time away, yet 20 degrees warmer, the Philippines seemed like a good idea.

And a good idea it was! The warm breeze, the palm trees and the crystal clear water made my anxiety about work and my health issues seem far, far, far away.

I could breathe. I stopped coughing. I also stopped worrying about deadlines, parent-teacher conferences and all the pressure I let people put on me every day. I slept more. I ate healthier. I read an ENTIRE BOOK. I never wanted to leave and go back to the stressful life where everyone pulls at me until I break (again).

I once read that you should ‘create a life you don’t need a holiday from’. Loving this holiday and the fact that I was far away from the life I created in Japan – does that mean I failed?

Maybe.

But maybe it also means that I’m simply not done learning, changing, adapting. Adapting to ’Life on the other side of the world’, in a profession that results in burn out more often than any other job.

Maybe I need to cut myself some slack. Maybe I just need more time, better strategies and most of all: The ability to just not give a damn.

I’ll try (again). Maybe one day, I’ll be a tad closer to every day teaching life being paradise.

And if not, I can still pursue a career in pottery.

(Under a palm tree, of course.)

 

Palmen

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